My Personal Evolution:

Hello and thank you for visiting my corner of the Web. I am known by my friends simply as "Dom". I have gone through many changes over the past five years or so. My personal world has evolved into something I feel is unique. I have discovered many new and wonderful things about myself and I have also had my regrets.

Life for me has been a long and solitary one. I have tried to work through the drastic changes from my old way of life. At one time, I lived the American dream...married, settled down and a nice career. I was also an active church member and a Baptist minister involved in various church ministries. Life was grand...then it all disappeared. I was betrayed and abandoned by my wife and, later, by my very own church. I became consumed by bitterness, anger, and then hatred.

Over time I just grew numb to it all. I survived on logic and choices rather than desires, hopes, or dreams. I was doing only that though...simply surviving. I was left to consider the future of my children and their emotional well-being, so I put aside my own personal needs and wants. I do not regret the decision, as I see now that they are happy and well adjusted. Even their mother is now taking an active role in their lives, which I am pleased to see happen.

During the first couple of years, I found myself very frustrated emotionally and socially. Because I had dated and was married to the same woman for ten years, I wasn't used to being alone. I found myself jumping from one relationship into another, all because I didn't want to feel lonely. I hated myself because I had no emotional attachment to these new women, but I needed them around me for comfort, no matter how temporary it was. It kept spiraling out of control until, one day, I just decided to stop.

I made a conscious decision to learn to be on my own and get over my NEED to be around women. I figured that if I was to be with a woman, it was because I WANTED to be with her and not because I HAD to out of desperation or loneliness. So went almost a whole year without a single date...not even a simple coffee, a movie, walk....nothing. I focused my time and efforts on my children and my friends. I planned family nights and caught up where I had left off since my separation. I visited with my fiends and shared many bar-b-ques, Spurs games, parties and various family outings together.

Then one night we decided to hit the bars and clubs in San Antonio. One interesting note, is that all my immediate friends are couples. I was the only single guy in the bunch. When we hit the club, I quickly found my "mojo" and began to work the room. It didn't take very long until my "dating strike" was finally OVER. Ever since that night, I have never looked back. I felt in control of my life again and began to enjoy myself for a change. Now I enjoy being single and have reached another turning point in my life.

My life is open to many options, whether casual or serious. I remain single, BY CHOICE, because I love meeting new and interesting people. I always appreciate the company of a wonderful woman, but I revel in my independence too. I like being considered sexy by women and enjoy the attention I sometimes get. However, if someone significant enters my life then I am not totally against a relationship. In fact, I feel that I shine better in a relationship. I love to spoil my woman and make her feel loved and appreciated. Who knows what the future holds. Albeit, I look forward to it with a renewed sense of hope. Thank you for reading.

Next story: Broken Wings - My falling away from the church.

My Wandering Mind: BLOG